


Euphoria

by Cisne



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Drug Use, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:35:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28356318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cisne/pseuds/Cisne
Summary: Everyone has demons
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Park Seonghwa & Kim Hongjoong
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This work will have triggering elements that I will always talk about in the description. Here is the basic outlines, would anyone be interested in this?

Hongjoong does whatever drug he can get his hands on.  
Seonghwa needs to feel pain in order to to deal with life.  
San feels funny around his best friend and is afraid of what it could mean for his safety.  
Wooyoung has been used so many times he may never feel clean again.  
Jongho has never seen a loving relationship or a happy home.  
Mingi feels like he can’t breathe .  
Yeosang feels everything and wants it to stop.  
Yunho just wants to fall asleep and never wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw drugs and Hongjoong's addiction

It made Hongjoong sad. Both to be high, and to be sober. When he's high there's two things that he thinks about. One, how he wants to feel like this forever. And two, where can he get his next fix. When he's high he's sad that he can't feel high all of the time, and he's sober he's sad that he's not high. Life is completely dull when he's sober, it's so boring. And so, it doesn't matter what the drug is, he likes how it makes him feel. The drugs take him away from the monotony of everyday life. He likes Xanax because of how mellow they make him, he likes molly because it makes him the life of the party, he likes coke because it makes him feel like he's the king of the world, but mostly he likes weed. Seonghwa also says that he hates being sober because anything is better than facing life in their small town. But Seonghwa also says that he needs help, so he tends to ignore what his best friend says. Besides, Seonghwa has his own problems to deal with.   
He first tried drugs when he was 15. He was at Yunho's house, and his friend had some leftover pain medication. Hongjoong had heard about how good they could make you feel, and so when Yunho had offered them, he had gladly accepted. And in that moment, he felt a switch flip in his brain. He knew that this was how he was meant to feel. And he has been chasing that feeling again ever since. And for a while, the coke sated his desire for a reprieve from life, but soon it wasn't enough. He craved more.   
Hongjoong was at a party when he tried heroin for the first time. He had been conversing with Yeosang about Wooyoung's latest man, when he excused himself to find the restroom. And find it he did, along with several people, and most importantly, a needle.  
So it continued, him shooting up and snorting coke, and popping pills. And he saw how his friends looked at him now, at how he is beginning to waste away, how his skin is becoming pallid, and for the bags under his eyes that have begun to grow. He was just waiting for one of them to say something, and finally one of them did.  
It was Seonghwa, who confronted him in the end. It was after school, they were waiting in Seonghwa's car for San to get out of volleyball practice when he breached the subject.  
"Hongjoong, i need to talk to you," He began.  
"Sure thing," Hongjoong said  
"You'll have to hear me out, I've been talking to the guys and, well, we're worried about you. You haven't been looking too good lately. And I know you don't like to talk about it, but you've been using a lot more recently. And I just really thing you need to get some help."  
Hongjoong expects to feel angry, but all he feels is empty, and weary, and like needs a hit.  
"Seonghwa, would you please just fuck off. I'm really not in the mood to talk about this.  
He watches as Seonghwa bristles.  
"Hongjoong, you're going to kill yourself if you don't stop."  
"And you're one to talk."  
Seonghwa looked at him, with hurt in his eyes.  
"You knew?" He asked.  
Hongjoong chewed on his tongue. "Yes." And with that he gets out walks away.   
Seonghwa doesn't follow.


End file.
